I missed seeing a lot of beauty during my 28 years of active addiction.
Today, I can appreciate and look with wonder upon the beauty of the tree silhouetted in a spectacular sunset with colors of yellow, white and blue. I believe that when I am close to nature, I am close to God, because God created everything seen and unseen.
Chemicals deaden our senses, dull our minds, steal our soul and hurt the people we love. I really feel like I was dead for all of those years when I was chasing after my next high. I was self-destructive and destructive to my relationships.
The Big Book of AA says, “The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through he lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead.”
Sometimes, I mourn for all of those lost years, and I wonder how my life would have been if I were not an addict. In spite of all of my failures and the pain and destruction of my using days, I remain very grateful to be alive. Today, I can enjoy a spectacular sunset with a clear head and know in my heart that Jesus saved me from death.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous has some great wisdom about what addiction is. The book lists some concrete promises that begin to appear after steps 1-9 are completed:
“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way though. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize the God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us–sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” Those are the famous AA promises. You can take great encouragement and strength from these words by the founders of AA.
They are promises for you and they are promises for me!
Please check out my published book. “Saved By The Prince Of Peace–Dungeon To Sky.”
The website is: http://www.dungeontosky.com
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Peace, Love and Blessings to you!