Forgiveness and acceptance are two keys to freedom from addiction. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful spiritual healings that a human being can experience. I am talking about both being forgiven, and forgiving others.
Addicts use chemicals to feel better or to feel differently or not to feel at all. The experts call it “self-medicating”. In high school, I did not know it at the time, but I was a manic depressive or bi-polar person. My moods moved from high energy manic periods, followed by mild depressive episodes.
Although I was achieving straight A’s in school and I was involved in school sports, I always felt like I did not “fit in”. I felt like I was on the outside looking in through a glass wall, separated like someone in quarantine. I was always chasing after people’s approval, like my teachers, my football coach and my family. I drove myself relentlessly in academics and sports to compensate for an unstable alcoholic home. If I could excel in sports and academics, then my life would be O.K. and I could overcome that queasy sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach, which came from the insanity and secrets about my mother’s alcoholism.
In my sophomore year in high school, I found the answers to my searching to be a whole person. I found marijuana and later alcohol. Marijuana both calmed me down, and gave me smooth energy. Alcohol made me feel powerful and it allowed me to express myself and let myself go. I discovered how to self-medicate my manic depression and to lubricate my social interactions. Although I was very out-going socially, I carried a lot of anxiety in social settings and my new friends, alcohol and marijuana, never let me down. When a person starts to use chemicals to change how they feel and change how they interact with their environment and the people in it, they are beginning a journey to hell, called addiction.
I had no idea what train ticket I had purchased, and where that speeding train would take me. Fast forward 28 years, and I experienced 13 chemical dependency treatment centers and one year of homelessness living outside on the streets of Denver, Colorado. My manic depression was spiraling out of control as was my addiction to alcohol, marijuana and crack cocaine.
Along the way, I encountered violence, two near-fatal car accidents, a near death motorcycle accident and three grand-mal seizures from overdosing on crack cocaine. While sleeping down by the river in Denver, I was attacked by a psychopath who was running at me with two butcher knives and threatening to kill me. My dog Princess saved my life that night.
In fact, I now know that Jesus and His angels saved my life time after time. I believe that Jesus has work for me to do. My nightmare can now help other addicts. That’s why I have written over 100 blogs on my website about addiction and recovery. The website is: http://www.dungeontosky.com .
Jesus gave me a series of commands to write the story of my life of addiction and recovery. It was one year from the day I received these commands, that I published my book. The name of the book is: “Saved By The Prince Of Peace—Dungeon To Sky”.
The purpose of my book is to give hope, encouragement, faith and love to the suffering addict who might think that he or she cannot recover. I am living proof that Jesus can bring us back from the brink of death, to a wonderful life of sobriety and freedom from addiction. Jesus has blessed me with 18 years of sobriety, and I have finally come back to my true self that was lost so long ago. If I can get sober after 13 treatments and homelessness and manic depression, then so can you! There is always hope with Jesus, and He is waiting for us to come to Him!