Why is “surrendering” the one key to open the door to freedom?
I unnecessarily suffered 28 years of addictive hell, mainly because of my stubborn ego,
pride and the poweful phenomenon of denial.
¨ I lost my marriage.
¨ I lost my career.
¨ I became homeless.
¨ I had five near-death experiences.
¨ I lost my dreams.
¨ I lost all the important relationships with family and friends.
¨ I lost my dog.
¨ I lost my drive and ambition.
¨ I lost my self-confidence and my self-respect.
¨ I lost my connection to God.
¨ I violated my values and became a thief and a predator.
¨ I was arrested 15 times, spent ten months in jail, and was in 13 treatment centers.
¨ I lost the love inside my soul, and was filled with anger, rage, fear, desperation, terror
¨ I lost my faith and my trust in people and in myself.
Addiction is like an elevator ride– we can get off at any floor. We do not need to go to the sub-basement
like I did. Surrender is the key to freedom. God is waiting for us to ask for His help.
About The Author
This is a very powerful AA writing that my mother found 42 years ago:
“God in His wisdom selected this group of men and women to be purveyors of His goodness.
In selecting them through whom to bring about this phenomenon, he went not to the proud,
the mighty, the famous or the brilliant. He went instead to the humble, the sick, to the unfortunate.
He went right to the drunkard, the so-called weakling of the world. Well might He have said to us: —
“Unto your weak and feeble hands I have entrusted a power beyond estimate. To you has been
given that which has been denied the most learned of your fellows. Not to scientists or statesmen,
not to wives or mothers, not even to my priests and ministers have I given this gift of healing other
alcoholics which I entrust to you.”
“It must be used unselfishly; it carries with it grave responsibility. No day can be too long;
no demands upon your time can be too urgent; no case be too pitiful; no task too hard;
no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance for I have restricted its application to no race,
no creed, and no denomination. Personal cricism you must expect; lack of appreciation will be
common; ridicule will be your lot; your motives will be misjudged. You must be prepared for
adversity, for what men call adversity is the ladder you must use to ascend the rungs towards
spiritual perfection, and remember, in the exercise of this power I shall not exact from you
beyond your capabilities.”
“You are not selected because of exceptional talents, and be careful always, if success attends
your efforts not to ascribe to personal superiority that to which you can lay claim only by
virtue of my gift. If I had wanted learned men to accomplish this mission, the power would have
been entrusted to the physician and the scientist. If I had wanted eloquent men, there would have
been many anxious for the assignment, for talk is the easiest of all talents with which I have
endowed mankind. If I had wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with better qualified men
than you who would be available. You were selected because you have been the outcasts of the
world and your long experience as drunkards has made you or should make you humbly alert
to the cries of distress that come from the lonely hearts of alcoholics everywhere”.
“Keep ever in mind the admission you made on the day of your profession in AA –namely that you
are powerless and that it was only with your willingness to turn your life and your will unto
my keeping that relief came to you”.
About The Author
Where do you live when your chemical dependency treatment is finished?
It is important to have a plan of where you will live after treatment.
Many times it is not possible or safe for us to go back to our home town or to
go to where we last used chemicals.
Someone once said, “Getting and staying sober is easy, all you have to do is to
change your whole life!”
If your hometown or the town you last came from is not safe and represents
a threat to your sobriety and your life, then do not go there.
Old using places are major “triggers” to relapsing and can cause us to fall into a
downward spiral of addictive hell. Hanging out with old using associates is also a huge
set up and a serious threat to our sobriety and our life.
Early on in sobriety, we cannot be expected to be able to resist temptation and the
seductive web of using friends. Those relatonships were a system, and we played a definite
role in those relationships. To be around old using people can cause us to assume our old roles,
and be quickly dragged into doing what active addicts do — use chemicals, tear ourselves down
and self-destruct. That’s why we cannot risk being around old using “friends” and why we cannot go
to old using locations.
For some of us, going back to our home and family is also a bad idea and a direct threat to us.
Some of us have come from very toxic and non supportive families. Tragically, some of us have
experienced violence and sexual abuse from members of our families. Usually, there is no support
offered by these offending family members, because our addiction provided them with a tool of
control. They may not want us to get sober.
In my own story, my thirteenth and last treatment center was in Minnesota and I completed
nine months of treatment. I completed one month of primary in-patient care, then four months
of extended treatment and finally four months at a half way house.
I traveled all way down the road to homelessness, constant fear, desperation and hopelessness.
I was full of rage and I had lost my spiritual self.
I was lost like a cork in a raging sea.
I needed the full nine months to heal. When I got to the halfway house, I started to develope a plan
of where I would live and what type of work I would do. My first job in my new sobriety was working
for a small landscaping company. The owner had graduated from the same treatment center
eleven years previously. The work was physically challenging consisting of pulling weeds,
using the weed wacker machine and cutting the grass. I did this work for my first year of sobriety.
My goal was to save enough money to get an apartment. Moving back home was definitly not an
option and something I did not want to do. I saved enough money for two months rent, moved out
of the half way house and started a new chapter in my life. I had three sober roommates which
made the cost affordable. If I had of gone back to my family or gone back to homelessness,
the results would have been disastrous.
In time, with the help of God and my wife Rochelle, I was able to rebuild my life and build a good
foundation for sobriety. God has gifted with me 18 years of sobriety and freedom from
It is my love and passion now to help my fellow addicts and to share with them my experience,
strength and hope. If I can get sober, anyone can get sober, when they surrender and do the
work of the 12 steps with the guidance of a great sponsor.
I am working hard now to send out the message of my published book,
“Saved By The Prince Of Peace– Dungeon ToSky.”
This book is my personal story of my 28 year battle with chemical dependency and
how I recovered. Check out the book.
I pray that you will receive the gift of lasting sobriety, and the peace and joy
of helping other addicts.
Peace and Blessings to you!